Can't sleep, maybe my insomnia syndrome has came over me (again). I tried to find some books to read, then I choose one of my old book which is a gift from my friend (Deasy Sartika) when I married 8 years ago.
I don't know why I directly open pages 79 not from beginning. I read page per page until reach one quotation that remind me about something.
Orang yang menikah karena menginginkan kecantikan, barangkali karena tak kuat menahan takjub saat melihat senyumnya, cenderung mengalami kekecewaan yang besar. Mereka lebih mudah mengalami ketidak puasan seksual. Salah satu sebabnya, ketika kita berkeinginan untuk menikah dengannya atas dasar kecantikan, bersamaan dengan itu kita memiliki harapan yang sangat tinggi terhadap kehidupan seks yang penuh gairah. Pada saat itu pula kita justru peka terhadap kekurangan. Kita lebih mudah mengalami kekecewaan bila gairah pasangan kita tak sesuai harapan.
Here's the thick red line part of next quote that slap me in the face (the one who make me suffer with her shadow that flying around in my mind)
Semakin tinggi harapan, semakin sulit terpenuhi. Besar dorongan anda untuk menikahinya atas dasar kecantikan, semakin kuat juga harapan anda terhadap gairah seks dan kemesraan bersamanya.
If you read my writing carefully you will understand what I'm talking about, because I do feel that dissapointed recently though I was not yet married her.
Suprise? Don't be, hal ini tersirat jelas sejak awal aku menulis. Selamat menyelidik dan selamat berasumsi, all I just can say is I choose the right way although for maybe 1 last month I feel desperated whether regret and thanksfully. Then with this quotation now I'm sure that I should be very thanksfully with my choise.
Thank you Deasy, I should read your book for a long time ago. Your gift is like chicken soup for my soul.
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