Bed Rest

Great... I must bed rest today, I think I've got cold yesterday. Ditambah lagi kondisi fisik menurun setelah kelelahan jalan kaki dari PointSquare ke Gd. FedEx.

Just hope I'm not get thypus syndrome. Meanwhile mySyauQ starting her works to make cookie to fulfill her client orders. And my jobs? Watch over 2 little monster from ruining her works.

Not Syndrome Again...

Waked up, again in the middle of the night. But this time, I must stay awake because I have to help my apprentice to finish her task for final exam tomorrow.
02:30 AM, at least 60% of her task was done and I can't continue much longer. I was very tired, and obviously I need a rest, sorry Tami now you are on your own.
Tonight I try to sleep in bed with my wife, though it's feel strange to have someone was sleeping beside you. Mungkin kelihatan aneh ya notabene aku dan dia adalah suami istri yang memang lazimnya tidur bersama dalam satu ranjang. Tapi tidak begitu denganku, aku lebih senang menemani anak-anakku tidur di ruang depan, walau hanya beralaskan kasur tipis yang sudah sobek-sobek.

-o0o-

Walhasil, nyawaku belum sepenuhnya komplit ketika harus menjalani hari ini. Di kantor kerjaanku cuma bengong, bolak-balik gak jelas (tanda-tanda syndrome galau lagi kalo dibiarkan terus). Arrgh what should I do to fill my concentration, well I try to finish this day successfully ...

Fatigue

Too tired to write in this blog, I just laydown in this living room. Waiting mySyauQ served the dinner.

Gosh I feel so tired today, after taking a walk these noon.
Well it seems like dinner are ready, ok dear...let's eat!!

-o0o-

#a few minute later : senderan dengan perut yang kekenyangan, sesekali memperhatikan dia yang masih lahap menikmati makan malamnya. Sometimes I still can't believe that we can stick together. Aku tipikal orang yg kalo sudah ngomong sekali harus dituruti, meanwhile she has opposite character. Dia akan mengerjakan apa yang disuruh tapiii... setelah kerjaan yang ada dikepala dia selesai semua.

Then, you can imagine what was gonna happen in our life each day. But, again... Itulah istriku, dengan segala kesederhanaan dan kepolosannya. Dan inilah aku, dengan segala usaha untuk kembali coba mencintainya semata-mata untuk mempertahankan biduk ini.

Ngangkot.com

One of the reason why I do love my recent jobs is, that I can going everywhere, whenever I like without worrying get penalty and warned by management.
As long as my project done on time, nothing to be worry of. Like these day, I put my motocycle at the service shop. Then I going to mall, looking something or some'thingz' hahaha

-o0o-

I'd better be goin' back to office then, by angkot pula hadooh.
#few moment later : Sampe juga di kantor, kayaknya istriku dapet orderan lagi buat acara ulang tahun anaknya temenku (she has big hoky isn't she ? *she's amaze me)

Morning Fight

Excellent... She starting our day with some repeated daily trouble. Our first fight since I wrote on this canvas.

The problem is that she always waked up late, so my daughter came late to school (it has been 3rd times in this week, even yesterday she was not going to school because of that)

When it happen, then it become my trouble. I'm the one who must take her go to school and I'm the one who will got the warning from her teacher.

It's my wife's fault, aargh... She really piss me off man. Terus dia sekarang lagi anteng browsing2.

She bribe me with a glass of milk and toasted bread. Damn I hate when she said apologize with that way, my heart become melting every where.

-o0o-

Ga lama abis baekan sama dia, giliran bola-bola cokelat bikin ulah. Shit, again my emotion was blew up.

Mamaa, please do something with your children will you *&@-*/("?&

She Cook For Me ?

My Wife asked me to went home earlier. Maybe she want to gave me suprise *dia masakin aku hari ini hihihi. Unfortunately I already eaten just now, I order pecel lele because I'm starving to death.
Well, I don't wanna let her down. Then I said "ya udah ntar aq makan lagi aja hehehe" masih muat kagak ya ? ^_^

-o0o-

It's time to goin' home, kepalaku sudah sedikit ringan. Sumpah tadi siang pusing banget, entah karena beban kerjaan yang menumpuk ditambah kurang tidur juga. Gila aja tidur jam 3 bangun bangun langsung olahraga pinggul hahaha sejam pula set dah, ah sudahlah pulang buruan.

Insomnia Syndrome

Can't sleep, but I can't tell you why. I don't understand either, my heart was burning, my soul feel empty, my head feel heavy, my ego feel likes explode like a bomb.

Maybe I should enjoy this pain, I must take the risk because it's my cosequences. Yeah it's not easy as flip your hand, but I will survive... I must survive.

As long as I keep my head sane enough, so I'm not do something stupid that will make situation gettin' worse.

This insomnia syndrome just some side affect for the path I've been choose, I've got strengh from my SyauQ, my daughters, and my friends and it will keep me alive.

Kadang aku jadi tersenyum sendiri kalo ingat dulu ditolak mentah-mentah sama mantan hehehe. I wonder how can I survived from that moment? Saking mujarabnya sampe lupa cara melupakannya gimana... Wow

Dear Anida, thank you for lending me your shoulder so I can drop my tears and show you how weak I really am... She's nothing compared with you, I'm the one who has been blinded by beauty and passion.

You know what? My syndrome slightly disappeared after I wrote this note. Hmm time to get sleep, in the next 2 hour I must pick my daughter to school.

Bad Day... Again ?

Someone in my office screw up my project with some rubbish information. Aargh, he's make my day smell like a shit ?!!

Ah sudahlah, segala sumpah serapah sudah keluar dari mulutku. Now I just wanna take a good night rest at my home.

My daughter was laugh out loud when I say bad word in english, she ask me what's the meaning asshole and I said lubang silit then she's laugh again #damn I shouldn't teach them that word hehehe

I just can't find any worse word to describe him... That word already the worst I can get rather than f*ckin stewpid...

Having bad day twice in a row make me nuts, I need some special treatment to help me get relax for a while.

Aki2 Diantara ABG

Meeting @SevenEleven Mampang, as always I came just on time @4th o'clock PM. But it seems like my colleague was came late.

So here I am, waiting in the middle of crawded room full of teenager (ABG). Thx God I'm not teen anymore, otherwise it will "salting" be starred by teenager girl.

Celingak celinguk gak jelas, berasa paling tua diantara mereka #sialan.

Time is ticking, almost 1 hour I wait my partner, argh never be on time like always. Meanwhile, ababil still come and go in front of my eyes. Untung gw dah tobat, kalo nggak di gebet juga tuh abegeh hahaha

#Stress detected : I was start scratching my own head, dan business partner hasn't showed yet. Hotpants everywhere, make me feel naughty xixixi...

The Commitment

It's time to spread my money alias mentransfer ke rekening-rekening yang sudah ditentukan, sebagian ke rekening istri (of course), sebagian lagi ke rekening BNI (it must, sebagai penyambung hidup kredit rumah), sebagian bayar lisrik (haduh, ini lagi...), sebagian buat tabungan naik haji (amiin), sebagian buat dana kenakalan (ha...hai...) dan sebagian lagi... o shit, there's nothing left in my bank account. Almost forget, buat bayar arisan pake yang mana (haduuh gubrak deh).

It's seems like every end of month I always get salary no longer than 1 day in my account... next day I must spread it to it's own account (bah, duit kenakalanku makin berkurang...). Well, I think it's time for me to find another source to fill my bank account with money hahaha (think Gee, where did you get another source... be creative man).

Yes, this how I manage my income. I don't care if some people think it's not good to do like my way, but again, this is the way I appreciate my wife as a partner and account manager in my life. I entrusted her to manage as she like, I'll just give 40% of my salary. Even someone said, she's (my wife) very lucky to marry me, not every woman get lucky as my wife. Otherwise, they don't know the one who's very lucky actually is me (my self). Because of her support, I can raise my career until now (it's already 4x salary from the first time I married her) I can buy my own house, I have 2 lovely daughters, etc.

Yes... I didn't say it's easy, so much problem that we must solve in our marriage (8 years). But I promise to her, that I will commit with this relationship... I'm not talking about my feeling, I'm talking about my promise (aku ikhlas menjalani hidup dengan perasaan kosong demi janji yang telah terucap)

Bad Day Effect

Waked up at 03.00AM 'cause I had a bad dream. Still have a little bad mood about last night conversation with the little wing.

Let's hope today was a good day, I've to get prepared pick my daughter to school.

Sometimes making love is one of the solution to heal the wound I've got... And now I'm ready to work *my apprentice said my eyes was sore a little bit red.

Bad Day

It should be smooth day for me in the beginning of work after long holiday season, but in the end of the day everything gone bad. Okay I admit it, I'm the one who shouldn't answer her (The Little Wings) question. It's causing hurt badly to my mood, to my whole day... it's suck (damn I hate that woman).

Close it Gee... !!! CLOSE IT... Okay, my priority is car and house (I must focus on that 2 thing). I must try harder to get my dream come true.

Another Sunday Business

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Treatment Services

"Ma... Minta tolong dong" pintaku.
"Bentar..." sahutnya dari dapur.
Satu menit... Dua menit... Hingga menit kesepuluh baru dia nyamperin ke ruang tengah.

Aku sedang berbaring disamping anak2 yang sudah lebih dulu 'tepar' *mungkin kecapean sehabis jalan2 beli tas.
"tolong apa pak?" tanyanya
"hehehe, olesin pantatku dong kayaknya iritasi" jawabku sambil pasang wajah memelas
"he? Ora ganti katok owh ya ?" seloroh dia dgn logat Tegalnya.
Aq hanya nyegir sambil melorotin celana sebatas pantat.
"jeplak!?!!" tangannya menampar gemes pantatku sambil ngomel2
"dah berapa hari paak iki katoke ra dikumbah?!!!"
"ah berisik... Lagian situ kagak nyiapin gantinya sejak kemarin lusa"
"jijeni paak... !! Keplak !!" pantatku jadi korban kekerasan rumah tangga lagi.
Nasiib, udah ga disiapin baju ganti, dikemplangin pula pantatku.

Singkat kata akhirnya pantatku ditreatmen juga, diolesi salep anti gatal sambil digosok pake alat kerokan... Aiihh serasa kemrenyem sambil merem melek hahaha

She is the best wife I ever had, though I just have one wife as long as I life. We've shared everything, even the worse or the most disgusting things like tonight... I ask her to treat my ass hehehe.

The moment that I've never shared with anyone else. Even my parents, something that only your life partner can do that job. So be grateful if you already have one, and you must do the same to your partner.

#after few moment later : "dah, lepas aja celananya ganti baru"
Ujarnya seraya melepas my pants.
Secara posisiku disuruh ferlentang, yang akhirnya bagian itu pun ikut kena spesial treatment hahaha makin merem melek aja jadinya #dontaskdonttell

Sometime I wish we can spent each day fully peaceful moment just like we spent today... No more clash action in another day, well I just hope, and always hope.

SatNight Date

Dating, with my wife and daughters. Well, sepertinya sekali2 jatah duit kenakalanku coba di hibahkan buat gift istriku... Let see what will she buy later?!

#20 minutes passed by : Come on Anida... Time is ticking, pick one you've like most (handbag, shoes, jelwery...) seems like she haven't decide it yet.

#at last : Well, she choose shoes as a gift. My deep kiss for you hunny, mmuuaachh... Hope you'll like it (at least that's all I can give to you).

Next, my first daughter want to spend her money that she has got from her uncle at Tegal for buy a new school bag (travel bag mode).

-o0o-

Women... They can spent many hour for shopping #sigh, kaki ku dah pegel neeh. Anteng banget yak kalo dah liat-liat, padahal anakku dua-duanya masih demam tapi giliran shopping seger banget gila.

#main course : Setidaknya pilihan istriku tentang tempat makan gak norak2 banget hehehe (Rice Bowl) at least she didn't choose Solaria (it's damn suck). Walau siap2 aku rogoh kocek lebih dalem hikz... Hikz... Hikz

Back 2 Office

When everybody still in their holiday season, I decide go to office today. It's not because I've no work to do at home but moreover I need to make sure that my application working well to be presenting by my boss tomorrow in Bali.

Yeah, it's my consequences become software developers although sometime I feel bored with all this stuff. Lagipula, gak ada yang bikin aku nyaman selain di kantor, entahlah mungkin karena bisa tenang mengerjakan hobby ku?

No More Trip

Catet : next years, no more expensive trip. Stay at home or go to Bandung.
At last, home sweet home. My wife and daughters all now was sleeping, me? I can't sleep, I've got something to do.

Suppose To Be Happy

I've been thinking, that I suppose to be happy with all I've got till now. Have beautiful, wise, smart and lovely wife also 2 beautiful daughter, damn I've never been this lucky.

The question is why ? Kenapa pembicaraan yang berujung konflik ini selalu mengenai aku? Bukan kami ataupun kita.

"Aku" yang membuat mata hati ini tertutup rapat, "aku" juga yang membuat konflik ini berkepanjangan. Tapi aku tidak pernah bisa terlepas dari "aku" dan itu sangat menggangguku.

Jangan pernah menanyakan apakah aq tidak pernah berusaha memperbaiki hubungan ini. Demi monster laut barracuda, aku habiskan seluruh hidupku untuk mereka. Bedanya, dulu ada celah dihatiku untuk cheat on her sekarang aku tutup rapat semoga memberikan angin perubahan.

Priceless Moment

Waked up in the middle of the night within 3 hour priceless spending my time with her. 

Hope this will fix every crack that appear in our relationship. And now here we are, laying on the bed she hug me tight. Aku merasa letih, ngantuk, lemes, tapi juga ga bisa melanjutkan tidur krn jam 5 pagi nanti kita harus berangkat pulang kembali ke Jakarta.

-o0o-

Why people in Indonesia can never be educated about queueing? Always suck, belum lagi ngurus anak yang rewel ga mau dipisah sama pakDe nya aarrghh!?! Chaotic friday morning. Anyway, just lets go home dear...

#heading to Jakarta

I Love You

"Do you love me ?" Tanya istriku, dengan sorot mata yang tajam seakan coba menyeruak kedalam celah benak dan logikaku.
"Ya, aku selalu mencintaimu... Jangan pernah kau ragu"
Namun tatap matanya tetap tajam tak lantas meredup atau sirna dalam pelukanku. Seakan ingin berkata, "yakinkan aku pak..."

Yeah, usually she called me Bapak and I called her mama.
Ku hanya terdiam, sesekali menghela nafas seraya memeluk erat tubuhnya.

"You shouldn't ask me whether I loved you or not, all you should asking to me is..."

Apakah aku nyaman hidup bersamamu?

"Okay then, did you feel comfortable to have living with me?"

"And the answer is, no I don't happy neither feel comfortable to have you beside me" terasa kata2 tersebut meluncur begitu saja dari mulutku.

Aku tahu itu sangat menyakitkan buat dia, dan juga buatku. Aku mencintainya namun aku tidak dapat hidup bersama dia. Terlalu pahit dan kompleks permasalahan yang terjadi.

Aku dan dia saling mencintai, tapi entah kenapa kami tidak menemukan benang merah dari 2 kepentingan yang berbeda ini.

The Beginning

I try to remember and make pointing the reason why I choose her as my wife.
1. She's the best I can get
2. Time is ticking, forced by people opinion "When you'll get married?"
3. I only have two emotional problem that is hungry and horny *gubrak

It's pathetic isn't it? Tapi cinta perlahan muncul dan tumbuh dengan sendirinya. Berbeda dengan dia yang mungkin benar2 mencintaiku sepenuh hati.

I try not to blame anybody, but slowly but sure it's change since our first child was born. It's really change everything.... Every single thing.

Mungkin aq yang tidak siap mempunyai anak *entahlah, sejak saat itu perlahan aku tidak pernah lagi mau mengerti jalan fikirannya.

Singkat kata we have been lost contact already, and that where all this painting was begun.

Pick Up

Going to pick her up and the children at Tegal, d*mn this long holiday cost me more than 1 month budget.
Mana tiket kereta ga kebagian pula, makasih ya PT. KAI you suck my pocket like a damn vampire.
-o0o-
Meski kesel tapi yaa terpaksa dibeli juga, in sundanese it called (dipoyok dilebok) yaah mau gimana lagi apa guwe harus bilang WOW gitu? *tabok pake duit yg jualan tiketnya.
Walau it's cost insanely, it has been my duty as her husband and father of my children *at least that's all I can do.
-o0o-
Two words, f*cking train... I bought executive class ticket but this is far away from executive (I'd rather call it Cirek rasa cireng). It's hot, no TV, no valueable service, and they mark up the price as like as they want to.
Untung guwe bawa buku, bisa terhibur sepanjang perjalanan (thx Ika Natassa, your Twivortiare is the best book I ever read, I'd love to get your autograph on it *serius)
Transit on stasiun Cirebon, still far away from Tegal sing ngapak-ngapak
-o0o-
#1 hour later : I think I've got lost in the middle of nowhere #gubrak !!
Okay, next destination : Tegal. Udah kayak orang mudik, bawa2 kardus oleh2 buat nyogok ponakan. Bener2 ngerjain guwe nih Anidaa!!!
-o0o-
Segala sumpah serapah sirna setelah ketemu my little princess, maunya dipangku terus ampe guwe alihkan perhatiannya ke oleh2 baru mau turun... Thanks god, for your priceless gift.
Sekarang saatnya tenang, semua dah pada tidur, mau lanjut baca buku di ruang tamu :-)

Mukaddimah

Hai, namaku Gee. Aku bekerja disebuah perusahaan IT yang cukup ternama di kalangan para gamers, dan pada saat ini aku sudah cukup bahagia mempunyai kehidupan yang lengkap. Istri yang begitu mencintaiku, dan dua anak perempuan yang cantik-cantik sebagai amanah dari sang Maha Pencipta.