My Responsibility

I'm going to the office, though this is Sunday when everybody spent their time with family. Well here I am, alone in third floor... no family, no whining, no silly question... just me and my laptop.

Sebetulnya dulu lebih enak, ada Kyo San yang suka menemani di kantor (setidaknya ada yang bisa aku godain agar sedikit menceriakan kelamku). But now as the office growing bigger, then her division moved to another city, but actually I not totally alone... ada satpam sih di lantai satu (tapi masa aku harus godain satpam juga *emang guwe cowok apaan ciinn...)

-o0o- 

I'm not running away, I just try to cool down my temper until the conflict settled down a little bit (walau aku tahu tidak mungkin semudah itu konflik akan mereda)
God she never changed even I've tried to change my self to be a better person, even I've given my everything, is it true that people was never change ? apakah tidak ada keinginan dari dia untuk mengurangi sedikit saja kecemburuan yang tidak beralasan itu ? dan coba menjalankan tugasnya dengan benar, setidaknya (hal kecil) she waked up in early morning... just early morning... so my daughter not came late to school, that's a little thing that I called changed.

This is the marriage I've been going through, I'm not saying I have the most hard marriage than everybody. All I wanna say is in every marriage will get through this situation (someday) it depend on how are we gonna handle it.

Jujur... dia selalu berkata suatu saat jika memang pernikahan ini gagal dipastikan itu karena orang ketiga (she called her "Jebrak" I don't know why she called her with that, but I prefer call her "someone" it's more objective and comfortable in my ear). Oleh karena itu aku menulis semua ini di sebuah blog yang bernama Lukisan Tanpa Warna untuk membuktikan... She has nothing to do with this, the one who responsible in this situation is me or her (mySyauQ) but again... I will not blame her, it's all become my responsibility if I failed then I'm the one who screw everything up.

If she can't follow me, follow my way of life then... gak ada lagi yang bisa aku perjuangkan, hal ni berulang terus menerus selama 5 tahun terakhir. Hanya 1 bulan lebih ternyata bisa bertahan selanjutnya she came back to her irrational attitude.

*Bahkan kata maaf pun tidak terlontar dari mulutnya, atau bahkan mungkin tidak terbersit hal itu merupakan sebuah hal yang menyakitiku...